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Archive for September, 2009

Eatin’, Shittin’, Fightin’ and Rapin’… it’s about all they do outside my house..

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Ladies,

Today I thought it was about time we discussed a very serious condition which is affecting the men in our lives. It doesn’t have a name, yet it is extremely widespread and affects at least 4 out of 5 males in their lifetimes. The condition generally lays dormant in males throughout childhood, and often it is the act of becoming a father which serves as a catalyst for this condition to appear.

The condition I speak of results in temporary, but re-occuring sensory shutdown which is generally known to affect hearing, vision and sense of smell.

If the father of your child displays any or all of these symptoms, then it is likely he has been affected by the condition and should seek treatment immediately:

  • Inability to smell strong odours, such as dirty nappies. When challenged to test their sense of smell by removing the offending nappy, their sense of smell will often miraculously reappear. Due to the sudden and immediate sensory overload, the male may make very screwed up faces or even gag in extreme cases.
  • Inability to hear loud noises, such as a child crying in the middle of the night – even if the entire household is as quiet as a mouse.
  • Inability to hear the voice of a toddler, particularly in instances where the child is advising them that they have “done a poo”.
  • Visual impairment, often unable to see items on ground level, such as toys. He will walk directly over these throughout the day, unable to see that they need to be picked up. Often will only realise that the toys are there when are tripped over, usually by himself.

Unfortunately there is currently no known cure for this condition, however you can take steps which can sometimes temporarily restore the senses back into working order. These may include:

  • A sharp nudge to the male’s ribcage, which may prompt hearing to reappear so that the male can hear the baby crying and attend to their needs – this treatment applies to those in a sleeping position.
  • A steady and constant verbal prompting, also known as “nagging” can sometimes restore hearing and visual impairment. This is often not a very successful treatment though, as in some cases it can cause the hearing and vision to shut down for a longer duration depending on the temperament of the male involved.
  • Re-activate the sense of smell by encouraging the male to change your childs nappy. Often this has immediate results.

So ladies, let’s help find a cure – and help our men overcome this serious condition.

If you know of any additional symptoms or treatments which have not been included, please leave a comment below. Every piece of information we can collect is absolutely vital to the study of this condition. You may have even heard of the name of this condition, which we would love for you to share with us.

Most importantly, should your husband/partner be the fortunate 1 in 5 males not affected, please note that they may be required for scientific analysis at a later date to determine how they managed to skip this gene. If you have a son, it is also important for you to be aware of this  as he too could be one of the 4 in 5.

Thank you for your assistance. Please know that you are not alone. We will find a cure!

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PK

It is isn’t it?… But still, you know what they say..no time like the present..

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